Happy Money – Ken Honda

Everyone wants money. When you randomly ask a person what they want the most, they will often reply, “Money”. They can decide exactly how to use it later. Why do we want money so much? What are the underlying motivations that keeps us constantly feeling in need of money? Once you can put into perspective the emotional reasons for wanting money, you will start to feel more connected to your own needs and less stressed about money. This is how you can be released from money’s control over you. Over the years I’ve observed many reasons why people think they want money. I’ve recognized some some distinct patterns, which I am going to describe as the six reasons why people want money. There is always an emotional drive behind wanting money. But if we become disconnected from the underlying emotions, we can get stuck in a cycle of trying to make money without understanding what we really need. We all need shelter, clothes, and food to eat – and a way to cook it. In the past, people attributed their livelihood to good farmland and forest, but today it is money that delivers us the things we need. When most people are asked why they are working, they will reply, “To put food on the table.” It is important to understand the difference between what we consider to be the bare minimum and what we consider luxury. I’ve met many people who were making good salaries yet constantly felt like they had just enough to put food on the table and keep a roof over their heads.

Many people save money because they are afraid of the future. They may get sick or lose their jobs, so they save for a rainy day. That is why people want to save: in case something bad happens. But if you save money out of anxiety or fear, you will just feed more fear and anxiety – more blocks to the flow of money. The side effect is that no matter how much you save, anxiety around money will not disappear. If you are broke, you may think you need to save enough money for a week so you can feel at ease about money. But if you have a week’s worth savings, you will feel like you need money for a month. After that, you may need a year’s worth. It never ends. Even if you could save enough for the rest of your life, you would start worrying about the possibility of losing it all. So your anxiety never disappears. Why? It is not related to money at all. It is anxiety and fear deeply rooted in your psychology. We think our fears are about money, but in reality it is the future and change we’re afraid of. Is there a solution to this madness? If you are going to save money, save it while you imagine the many fun ways to spend it. You might go traveling, eat at a nice restaurant, get a massage, retire in a desired location, spend it on your children and loved ones. See the difference? You’re infusing your thoughts of money with appreciation, love, hope, and positive energy, thus ensuring that more will flow. You realize your money is there to support your joy and fun. If you start imagining all the fun things you can do with the money you are saving, you won’t be able to worry at the same time. The human mind is very simple: it cannot process two emotions at once. Keep your mind focused on the fun, positive, and hopeful things. Your savings account – and your mind – will thank you.

This may sound strange, but it is true. I have interviewed thousands of millionaires all over the world, so i have a lot of data that confirms this. In fact, I did a study with Kodansha, one of the prestigious publishing houses in Japan, called How Ordinary People Became Millionaires, which examined 10,000 millionaires and how they achieved success. I discovered many things, one of which was that they all lost much and experienced failure and loss before accumulating wealth. They lost in various ways: through bad investments, through theft by employees, or through failed businesses. So don’t get discouraged by the first misfortune. Think of it instead as getting one step closer to success. For after losing some, you will start attracting money – if, of course, you maintain a positive attitude and are open to receiving future success. Other findings are that people who love what they do are far more likely to be successful than those who are unfulfilled in their work. People who do what they love have more passion, go the extra mile for their clients, and serve more. They are more appreciated and respected by their clients and customers. In a word, they are likable. If you want to have a higher Money EQ, you need to love people. The more you care for others, the more you will receive. People respond to someone who cares. Money will flow to these people. If more people like you, more money will flow. I often get questions from freelance people about pricing. They often wonder what the right price for them is. They are not asking the question of how. They want to know more about how to price higher and still get clients and customers. They are afraid to raise their prices because they fear they’ll lose potential clients. It is scary to “put a price on yourself.” The same goes when you ask for a raise. What is interesting is that whatever price you set, you will get clients. However, they won’t be the same: different people have different needs and abilities. If you price low, you’ll attract those who can pay those prices, if you price high, you’ll lose power-paying customers but you’ll attract those who are willing to pay higher prices. So the question is: Are you ready for higher prices and attracting different clients and customers?

People often assume that bigger is better. However, people who desperately aim for big money and riches often fail, and with that failure comes a lot of stress. When it comes to body weight, but occasionally you will find someone who feels great in their own skin, just as they are. In terms of money, I have heard many people say they want more but rarely has anyone ever said that they have too much. I’ve met only one man who said he had enough. I have mentioned my mentor Wahei Takeda a couple of times. I wrote about having “enough” in a book called Maro Up!: The Secret of Success Begins with Arigato with Janet Bray Attwood. Before Wahei’s death, I had the privilege and honor to learn from him, and he was by far the happiest person I have ever met. Although most people around the world are unfamiliar with this great man, to put in relative terms, he was like this great man, to put it in relative terms, he was like the Warren Buffett of Japan. He used to run one of the largest candy companies in the country, and what made his candy company so unique was that the factory workers listened to children singing arigato, which means “thank you”, as they made this special and popular candy for babies. Wahei felt that the energy that came from the children singing while the factory workers were making the candy was why his candy was a bestseller. And I believe my success is a direct result of Wahei’s philosophy of saying arigato consistently and applying his “maro up” philosophy to my own life and business. So what is maro? The word is short for magokoro, which means “true or sincere heart” in Japanese. You could say maro is strong in those who have a pure heart and lead an upright life. Even in Japanese, it’s hard to define maro because it’s a spiritual state, but it could be called a state of selflessness, the opposite of ego. It can be thought of as the deeper and of one’s consciousness, closer to the collective consciousness, the level at which all of humanity and the universe are one. As such, maro is the wellspring of our unconditional love for others, and also for ourselves. Achieving a state of maro is the key to success. Wahei said that those who are in touch with maro always create win-win situations for themselves and the people around them. It follows that if you have a pure heart and true sincerity, not only will people treat you better but you’ll begin to feel the whole universe support you as well. When your maro increases, Wahei says you “maro up” and invite many miracles into your life.

When your maro increases, you:

  • become more magnetic, both emitting and attracting positive energy. This surrounds you with good people and things you care for deeply, which then creates a cycle of happiness and abundance
  • become more passionate and more energized to do the things you care about the most. You become more intuitive, and you can choose the best way to live your life. And since you are doing what you love most, you are constantly opening doors to exciting new opportunities and more abundance
  • express more gratitude for life so you find yourself saying “thank you” more than even before. Your gratitude is contagious, and you make those around you full of positive energy. As a result, others start to express gratitude and welcome more abundance into their own lives as well.”


Your Greater is Coming – Joel Osteen

“But what God promised you doesn’t have an expiration date. Just because you’ve given up on it doesn’t mean God has given up. You may have done things that should keep your dream from coming to pass. Perhaps you got off course and made mistakes. You don’t deserve for it to happen, but God is so merciful that He’s already taken your mistakes into account. They may delay it from happening, but they’re not going to deny it from happening. The promise is still coming. Despite the mistakes, despite the failures, despite the delays, God is saying, “I’m still going to bless you. I’m still going to heal you. I’m still going to bring that dream to pass.” Too often we disqualify ourselves. We think it would have happened if we had made better choices. If we’d finished school, if we’d not got involved with the wrong people, not wasted time compromising, then God could bless us, then He would open new doors. That would make sense if God was like us. That would make sense if He judged us based on our performance and gave us what we deserve. But God is not like that. He’s full of mercy. He doesn’t hold our mistakes against us. He doesn’t cancel our destiny because we got off course. He knew every wrong we would take, every mess we would make, every failure, every weakness. Nothing you’ve done is a surprise to God. Nothing that’s happened to you has caught Him off guard. The good news is that He has mercy for every mistake, restoration for every failure, new beginnings for every loss, a comeback for every setback. What He promised you is still on the way. You didn’t miss your chance. You haven’t failed too many times. The disappointment didn’t stop God’s plan. He is still going to show you favor. The circumstances may look impossible. The medical report tells you to learn to live with the sickness. It’s permanent. But God says, “Healing is coming. Wholeness is coming. The number of your days I will fulfill.” You may not see how you can evert get out of debt. Nobody in your family has excelled, but it can start with you. God says “increase is coming. Abundance is coming. You will lend and not borrow. What you touch will prosper and succeed.” You may say, “Joel, I got myself into this mess. It’s my own fault.” But God is the one who’s going to get you out of that mess. Quit believing the lies that it’s too late, that the problem is too big, that you’ve made too many mistakes. God is called “the author and the finisher of your faith.” What He started, He’s going to finish. The delay doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. The mistakes you’ve made haven’t caused God to change His mind. The circumstances may look impossible, but God hasn’t run out of options. You may not see a way in the natural, but God is supernatural. He has ways you’ve never thought of. He’s not limited by your job, by your salary, by a medical report, by what family you come from, or by what you didn’t get. One touch of His favor will catapult you to a new level. One good break and what He promised you will come to pass. Instead of thinking all the reasons why it’s not going to work out, all through the day you have to say , “Father, thank You that what You promised is on the way. Thank You that healing is on the way. Thank You that promotion is on the way. Thank You that the right person, breakthroughs, freedom, and new levels are on the way.”

You may have delayed the promise, but that didn’t deny it. God didn’t change His mind. Will you trust Him in the sesons of silence? Every thought may tell you, It’s never going to happen. It’s your own fault. You knew better. You may not see anything happening, but God is still working. What He promised you is still on the way. After thirteen years of silence, when Abraham was ninety-nine, it says in Genesis 17, “God said to Abraham,”I am God Almighty. You will become the father of many nations.” After all the mistakes, all the failures, and all the dysfunction, the first thing God said was, “Abraham, you will become a father with Sarah.” He reminded Abraham of the promise. He was saying, “Even though you blew it, even though you made a mess, that didn’t stop My plan. I didn’t change My mind. I’m still going to do what I promised.” You would think the first thing God would say was, “Abraham, I’m disappointed in you. What were you thinking? I’m going to find somebody else to accomplish your destiny.” God never gives up on you. He never disqualifies you. Quit disqualifying yourself. You blew it? Join the crowd. We all have. You made a mess? Come on in. You’re in good company. The enemy is called “the accuser of the brethren.” He’ll remind you of everything you’ve done wrong , all the mistakes you’ve made. He’d love to convince you to live down on yourself and drag through life with no passion, no expectancy. Don’t fall into that trap. At ninety years old, Sarah conceived and gave birth to a son they named Isaac, the promised child. The Scripture says, “It happened at the exact time God said it would.” That tells me that God already knew they were going to make those mistakes. He knew they would be impatient and have the first son and get into strife. Isaac came right on schedule, right when God has planned. Are you believing the lies that you’ve missed your chance, that it’s too late? Are you believing that if you would have made better choices, if you would have been more disciplined, if you had no run around with the people who pulled you down, the the promise would have been yours? What happened in the past is not a surprise to God. What He promised is right on schedule. You didn’t miss it; it’s still in your future.

You may have failed but you are not a failure. Failure is an event: it’s not who you are. You may have an addiction, but you are not an addict. What you struggle with is not who you are. What you do may not be good, but you are good. The Creator of the universe breathed life into you. As with this man, you may have gotten off course and brought the trouble on yourself, but God is saying, “I’m still going to bless you. I’m still going to free you. I’m still going to use you to help others. I’m still going to show you My favor.”

“You are blessed when you are at the end of your rope. With less of you, there’s more of God.” You may be facing a medical situation that doesn’t look good, or something in your finances, something in a relationship, or something in your business is at the end of the rope. You don’t know how it’s going to work, how it’s going to make it. Have a new perspective. When you’re at the end, it’s a blessing in disguise. You’re in prime position for God to show out in your life. Instead of being down on yourself, going around discouraged, turn it around and say, ” Father, thank You that You are the Almighty God. Your mercy is bigger than my mistakes. You are greater than this sickness. You are more powerful than this addiction. Even though I’m in a season of silence, even though I don’t see anything happening , I know You’re working behind the scenes and what You promised me is right on schedule. It’s easy to get in a hurry and try to make things happen, to force doors to open, to manipulate people and circumstances. If you push hard enough, sometimes God will let you open a door that He hasn’t ordained. He’ll let you walk down a road that’s not His best path. I’m all for taking risks and getting out of our comfort zone, but it’s important to stay in God’s timing. You have to listen to that small voice inside. An opportunity may be right for you, but if you feel an unrest about it, it might not be the right timing. When we don’t deserve it, we made mistakes, we got in a hurry, God says, “I’m still going to bless you. I’m still going to favor you. I’m still going to get you where you’re supposed to be.” Quit beating yourself up. Quit believing the lies that you’ve seen your best days, that it’s too late to accomplish your dreams, that you can never get out of debt, that you’ve made too many bad choices. What God promised you is still on the way. You may have delayed it, but you didn’t deny it. It’s still on the schedule. Start believing again. Start dreaming again. Start making plans for what you’ve given up on. “Weep may endure for a night, but joy is coming in the morning.” Your morning is coming. Your baby is coming. Your healing is coming. Your spouse is coming. Your breakthrough is coming. When it happens, it’s going to be more rewarding, more fulfilling than you ever imagined.”


The Power of One More – Ed Mylett

“Here’s a simple example that illustrates the point. When you were a child, the first time you tried to ride a bicycle, you didn’t do so well, did you? You probably started with training wheels, going slow, and with your mom or your dad by your side to steady you. As you climbed on your bike day after day, you got better at learning how to balance, pedal, and go foreword. Eventually, those training wheels came off, and slowly but surely you started to ride away on your own. Not long after that, you were whizzing up and down streets and sidewalks without a care in the world. And your life had changed forever. Until you understand and embrace the fundamental, life-changing power of One More Try, you won’t fully understand why it’s essential to try and make one more call, do one more set in the gym, meet one more person at a conversation, or learn one more skill to put you head and shoulders above everyone else. When you act and do the same things as everyone else, you’ll get the same results as everyone else. When you implement a One More Try mentality, that’s where you’ll find your greatest successes and your most significant personal growth. Doing so also will give you more confidence than your competitors. It’s a secret weapon of sorts. Although they may not see it, you’ll know you’re willing to do more than them. That’s a tremendous advantage in your favor. This isn’t exactly a new idea. Confucius understood the battles that go on in a person’s mind when he wrote, “The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can’t are both right.”

Confucius knew that an individual executes to the level of what he or she believes in themselves. Confidence fuels your belief that you’re worthy of making One More Try.

Many people like to think of themselves as overachievers. If you call yourself an overachiever, you’re declaring that your standard practice is to go above and beyond what’s necessary for achievement.

There is another critical component to this. Even though you may be willing to do the things that other people aren’t willing to do, you must be intentional and look for opportunities in everything you do. That mindset must become second nature to you. When you practice this strategy long enough, it becomes a reflex. You don’t think about it. You just do it.

I learned long time ago that we all have the wisdom inside us to create the future we want for ourselves. Most of us simply don’t tap into this rich vein, for whatever reason. We block that part of our identity and accept something less.

Sometimes we accept a lesser life because we weren’t given a good role model to follow, or we’ve suffered through adversity that’s made us mentally fragile. We wither under criticism and refuse to dig deeper to find the mental toughness and grit that even we didn’t know we had. Here’s something that should excite you. When you do break through, the places where One More Try takes place are a lot less crowded than when you run with the pack. Most people give up. They don’t do the work you’re willing to do. So they won’t get the results you’ll get.

Changing you emotional mindset is a challenge, I’m not going to lie. There are mental barriers to overcome when you’ve been pre-conditioned to think a certain way, a way that brings you comfort and goes to great lengths to avoid pain. Often, the actions you take in your life are because you think they’ll give you a particular emotional response. You buy flowers for your wife or girlfriend because you want to show your love for her and feel the love in return. You take a long walk on a beach or a hike alone in a park as a way to clear your mind and find peace. You work your butt off to reach a year-end work goal because you know you’ll enjoy the recognition you receive and the pride you’ll feel. Emotions are stronger and more permanent than feelings. Feelings are emotional reactions. They’re more transitory, and shallow in nature. Emotional responses run deeper and can be measured by physical cues. What’s mother’s heart does not race when her child comes home from a long deployment in the military to surprise her? If you get in a fight with your spouse, at some point, they’ll stop talking to you, but their body language will tell you all you need to know. Studies have even shown that unhealthy anger in its repressed state has been linked to cancer. Unaccompanied by positive emotions, negative emotions can create an endless stream of ruminations. This repeated negative thinking increases the brain’s stress levels, flooding our bodies with the stress hormone cortisol. That can lead to depression, overeating, drug and alcohol abuse, high blood pressure, and cardiovascular disease.

Although you want to hoard and experience only positive emotions, the fact is that all emotions are entirely normal to experience. That means anger, fear, disgust, sadness, contempt, shame, guilt, and other emotions we perceive as negative are just as normal as surprise, happiness, satisfaction, joy, and relief, to name a few. When you try to repress perceived negative emotions in your favor of only seeking and allowing positive emotions to exist in your mind, you tip a delicate balance that causes problems instead.

People are intentional about their actions, but rarely do we spend enough time thinking about the emotions attached to those actions. And we must be truthful when we do so. Rich Dad, Poor Dad author Robert Kiyosaki puts it this way: “Emotions are what makes us human. Makes us real. The word emotion stands for energy in motion. Be truthful about your emotions and use your mind and emotions in your favor and not against yourself.”


Ai incredere in propriile instincte – Sonia Choquette

“Cuvintele sunt energii puternice care, odata eliberate, pot crea cadrul si imprejurarile vietii voastre asemenea unor baghete magice. Fiecare cuvant pe care-l rostiti are o vibratie proprie, o tonalitate si o intentie care atrag echivalentul sau in planul terestru.

Cuvintele contin potentialul care va permite sa va faceti viata mai buna: ele pot fi folosite ca sa semanati semintele distrugerii sau ca sa faceti sa incolteasca experiente superbe, infloritoare. Ceea ce va spuneti voua insiva si altora aseaza fundatia vietii voastre si, daca doriti sa traiti intr-un mod mai inalt, in care sa fiti ghidati de spiritul vostru si sa mergeti in directia curentului, trebuie sa dati tonul folosind cuvinte afectuoase si creative, rostite cu o voce linistita si plina de armonie. Am invatat ca suntem toti Fiinte divine, cocreatori, impreuna cu Universul si ca fundamentul vietii noastre se cladeste prin cuvintele pe care le rostim. Nimic din ceea ce spunem nu este vreodata pierdut sau lipsit de putere – de fapt, fiecare cuvant este atat de puternic, incat nu v-ar veni sa credeti , si ii porunceste Universului sa asculte. Cat despre Univers, ceea ce spunem este lege, fiindca el nu face diferenta intre adevar si neadevar. Ia ceea ce spunem drept adevarat si se straduieste sa duca totul la indeplinire. Ati sunat vreodata la serviciu sub pretextul ca sunteti bolnav fiindca va doreati o zi libera si sa ajungeti sa nu va simtiti in apele voastre spre sfarsitul zilei respective? Sau ati inventat vreodata o scuza doar ca sa evitati sa aveti de-a face cu cineva, apoi stratagema sa va fie descoperita, iar voi- demascati. Eu, da. Odata, cand eram adolescenta, am contramandat o intalnire cu un tip cu care nu aveam chef sa ies,

spunandu-i ca trebuia tocmai atunci sa fiu baby-sitter. Simtindu-ma vinovata, i-am spus de cateva ori ca imi pare intr-adevar rau si ca mi-as fi dorit sa-l vad. Imediat dupa ce am pus telefonul in furca m-am dus sa ma intalnesc cu prietenele mele, care patinau pe gheata undeva in centrul orasului. La a treia tura pe pista de patinaj am dat nas in nas cu tipul caruia ii trasesem clapa. “Babysitting, nu-i asa?” a marait el la mine , apoi a patinat mai departe. Simtindu-ma prost si incurcata, nu m-am putut impiedica sa nu ma gandesc ca mi-o facusem de una singura, fiindca chiar ii spusesem ca mi-as fi dorit sa-l vad…Probabil ca Universul a crezut ca vorbeam serios. Fiti atenti nu numai la ce spuneti, ci si la cum o spuneti, fiindca Universul este construit din sunet si intentie. Cu cat cuvintele voastre sunt mai pasnice, cu atat intentia voastra e mai nobila, cu atat va fi creatia voastra mai reusita. Prea multe cuvinte aspre, neplacute, furioase – chiar daca credeti ca reprezinta adevaratele voastre simtaminte – au un impact distructiv asupra voastra si a celorlalti. Aceasta a fost o lectie greu de invatat pentru clienta mea Jennie. Se dusese la un psihoterapeut care o incurajase sa prinda glas si sa rosteasca adevarul. Sub indrumarea acestuia, Jennie incepuse sa spuna oricui exact ce credea despre persoana respectiva si exact in felul in care simtea nevoia s-o spuna. L-a repezit pe sotul ei, spunandu-i ca nu-i placea nici parul lui, nici mirosul respiratiei, nici gustul cu care isi alegea hainele si nici purtarea lui. Pe urma, le-a spus socrilor ei sa-si vada de treaba lor. Capatand elan si simtindu-se mandra de noua si emancipata ei sinceritate, i-a spus sefului ei ca ideile lui erau demodate si ca voia o marire de salariu. Deoarece ea credea ca era pe cale sa devina o femeie cu mai multa autoritate si degajata, Jennie a fost uluita cand si-a pierdut slujba, cand sotul ei s-a mutat, iar fiul lor s-a dus sa locuiasca la socrii ei. Fusese doar sincera, asa ca nu putea intelege de ce viata ei nu devenise mai buna.. In definitiv, psihoterapeutul petrecuse doi ani incercand s-o convinga pe Jennie ca a fi sincer era singurul mod de a fi fericit. Din pacate, cand le-a spus tuturor sa se duca la plimbare, toti au ascultat-o, lasand-o pe ea in urma. Problema tuturor Jennie-lor din lumea asta este ca trebuie sa fie atente sa discearna diferenta dintre adevar si opinie. Opiniile pot izola si agresa, in timp ce adevarul pur, chiar daca poate fi greu de ascultat, nu agreseaza niciodata pe nimeni – dimpotriva, cultiva intelegerea si respectul reciproc. Cu alte cuvinte, a fi sincer inseamna a te exprima fara sa iti faci rau tie insuti sau altora. A comunica in felul acesta este o arta, o disciplina, si elibereaza vibratii puternice care creeaza punti intre inimi, fundamenteaza increderea, atrag ajutorul si initiaza vindecarea. Genul acesta de adevar are un potential magic, fiindca va permite sa va exprimati dorintele cele mai profunde si sa le treziti la viata. Universul este astfel organizat incat sa acorde sprijin adevaratului vostru sine si, cu cat comunicati mai clar cu cel dintai, cu atat el poate sa actioneze mai bine. Cand ne exprimam pornind de la sentimente de confuzie, suparare, invinovatire sau victimizare, aceste note amare si mesaje amestecate fac ca Universul sa se invarteasca in cerc, dorind sa ajute, dar fiind incapabil sa o faca. Intrebati-va cat de bine va comunicati dorintele. Atat timp cat cuvintele sunt materialul de constructie al vietii voastre, nu aveti cum sa azvarliti cuvinte negative si devalorizatoare si sa va asteptati sa apara Taj Mahalul in schimb. Mai mult decat atat, folosirea unui mod de a vorbi neglijent si profan este foarte extenuanta in timp pentru o fiinta senzitiva, deoarece creeaza o vibratie disonanta, negativa. Injuraturile in exces sau utilizarea unui limbaj vulgar, mai ales in locul cuvintelor adecvate, infecteaza sufletul. Desi poate parea inofensiv, amuzant si este cu siguranta larg raspandit, folosirea acestui gen de limbaj va erodeaza, de fapt, trupul de lumina, si va coboara mult nivelul vibratiilor. Nu spun ca trebuie sa deveniti puri ca zapada neatinsa. Stim cu totii ca o expletiva entuziasta exprima uneori exact adevarul despre cum ne simtim si ce dorim sa exprimam. Eu ma refer la folosirea in mod frecvent a blasfemiilor si a jargonului de strada in locul cuvintelor uzuale, din obisnuinta sau pentru ca sunteti prea indolenti, nepasatori sau confuzi in privinta depunerii efortului in vederea unei comunicari eficiente.

Universul poate sa lucreze doar cu ceea ce-i oferiti si in modul in care o faceti, asa ca aduceti-va aminte: Gunoi va iese, gunoi va intra. Toate cuvintele au forta, dar cuvintele rostite cu iubire sunt categoric irezistibile. Sunt la fel de puternice ca formulele magice si atrag lumea la usa voastra. Fiti constienti si creativi in legatura cu cuvintele pe care le folositi, dar si cu cele pe care le ascultati. Aflati ca toate cuvintele pregatesc scena pentru ceea ce vor atrage ulterior, asa ca daca auziti o barfa, iesiti din conversatia aceea; daca cineva face observatii critice, ramaneti tacut. A intoarce spatele unei conversatii negative nu numai ca va pastreaza vibratia oscilatiilor la un nivel inalt, dar ii protejeaza si pe altii de scaderea nivelului propriilor vibratii prin privarea de audienta. Modalitatea cea mai buna de a mentine un nivel inalt al vibratiilor este de a face ca fiecare gand si cuvant pe care le folositi sau pe care le ascultati sa fie cat mai iubitoare si mai ingrijite cu putinta. Nu exista un mod mai direct decat acesta – nu exista scurtaturi, ocoluri sau exceptii. Cand cineva va intreaba ce mai faceti, in loc sa mormaiti: “Bine”, incercati sa-i raspundeti: “Grozav!” sau “Ma bucur de viata!”. Cand salutati pe cineva, spuneti: “Nu-i asa ca e o zi frumoasa?” in loc de: “M-am saturat de vremea asta”. Transmiteti urari de bine mai degraba decat sa va plangeti; exprimati-va recunostinta pentru ceva in loc sa va autocompatimiti si apreciati o persoana mai degraba decat sa o criticati – vedeti, apoi, ce se intampla. Energia pe care o raspanditi fie tinde sa inalte si sa degaje iubire, fie nu. Si daca nu, voi sunteti cei care aveti de pierdut. Exersati comunicarea iubitoare cu pasi foarte mici in mod repetat, pana cand va deveni o a doua natura pentru voi. Cu cat veti fi mai precupati de cuvintele voastre si de rezultatele lor, cu atat mai repede va veti simti vibratiile trezindu-se. Dialogul vostru intern se va potoli si un ton mult mai bland si mai dulce va lua locul vocii voastre interioare, facandu-va sa va simtiti mai linistiti si mult mai creativi.


Knock! Knock! Book! Book!

Within a book, within a place, within a flower.

Design pentru lumea reala – Victor Papanek

Toti oamenii sunt designeri. Tot ceea ce facem, aproape tot timpul, este design pentru ca se afla la baza tuturor activitatilor umane. Proiectarea si modelarea oricarui act in scopul obtinerii unui rezultat previzibil, dorit, constituie procesul de design. Orice incercare de a separa designul, de a-l individualiza, contrazice ideea ca designul sta la baza vietii. Design inseamna sa compui un poem, sa faci un zid, sa pictezi o opera de arta, sa scrii o compozitie muzicala. Dar design, inseamna, de asemenea, si sa faci ordine si curatenie intr-un sertar de birou, sa extragi un dinte afectat, sa coci o placinta cu mere, sa alegi membrii unei echipe pentru un meci de baseball televizat, sa educi un copil.

Watson si Crick au intuit ca structura ADN-ului putea fi exemplificata elegant printr-o spirala. Si, pornind de la aceasta intuitie, si-au inceput cercetarile. Intuitia lor a fost confirmata: era o spirala! Incantarea pe care ne-o determina ordinea descoperita in florile de gheata de pe geamul avionului, in perfectiunea hexagonala a fagurelui, in frunze sau in arhitectura unui trandafir reflecta preocuparea omului fata de modele. Incercam constant sa ne intelegem existenta extrem de complexa si de schimbatoare cautand o ordine in ea.

Si ceea ce cautam, gasim. Sunt sisteme biologice fundamentale la care reactionam la nivel constient sau inconstient. Motivul pentru care ne bucuram de ceea ce vedem in natura este acela ca identificam o economie de mijloace, simplitate, eleganta si o rectiliniaritate fundamentala. Dar toate aceste sabloane naturale, bine ordonate si placute din punct de vedere estetic, nu au aparut ca urmare a interventiei omului si, de aceea, definitia pe care am propus-o nu le are in vedere. Conceptul de design se aplica doar instrumentelor si obiectelor create de oameni. Conceptul este astfel denaturat, din moment ce atribuim frumusetea pe care o vedem in natura unor procese pe care, de cele mai multe ori, nu le intelegem. Ne plac nuantele de portocaliu si rosu ale artarului toamna, dar ceea ce ne incanta este determinat, de fapt, de un proces de disolutie, a mortii frunzelor. Poate ca forma aerodinamica a corpului unu pastrav ni se pare suficient de frumoasa, par pentru un pastrav inseamna eficienta la inot. Extraordinara frumusete a spiralei de crestere a florii-soarelui, a ananasului, a conului de brad sau a dispunerii frunzelor de tulpina poate fi explicata de Sirul lui Fibonacci, dar pentru o planta aranjamentul serveste doar la imbunatatirea fotosintezei prin expunerea unei suprafete cat mai mari din planta la lumina. La fel, frumusetea pe care o regasim in coada unui paun, fara indoiala si mai atractiva pentru o paunita, este rezultatul unei selectii interspecifice. Absenta unei astfel de intentii se remarca si in cazul unei gramezi de monede amenajate aleatoriu. Totusi, daca aranjam monedele dupa dimensiune si forma, ne impunem intentia si putem realiza un aranjament simetric. Un sistem ordonat in mod simetric este preferat de copiii mai mici, oamenii extrem de primitivi si chiar si de unii nebuni, deoarece este simplu de inteles. Orice mutare ulterioara a monedelor va produce un numar infinit de aranjamente asimetrice care necesita un nivel ridicat de complexitate si o mai mare implicare din partea privitorului pentru a intelege si a evalua acea schimbare. In timp ce structurile simetrice si cele asimetrice pot fi apreciate diferit din punct de vedere estetic, ambele isi pot demonstra rapid validitatea daca exista o intentie clara.

Din cauza veniturilor mici a aparut o revolta a consumatorilor fata de falsa uzura a produselor, dar si fata de bunurile de calitate inferioara. Pentru prima data, dupa cateva decade, consumatorii sunt interesati de calitatea, de durabilitatea si de costul redus al produselor. In plus, publicul pare dispus, cand isi permite asta, sa plateasca mai mult pentru un vas de gatit care va rezista 20-30 de ani, pentru o bicicleta rezistenta, pentru piese de mobilier bine executate sau pentru aparate realizate cum trebuie. A doua descoperire se refera la valorificarea designului de calitate din trecut. Tot mai multi oameni se vad fortati sa cumpere produse deja folosite din depozite precum Goodwill, Armata Salvarii, Societatea St Vincent de Paul sau Societatea Invalizilor.

Blocaje profesionale. Uneori, specializarea poate genera blocaje cu adevarat paralizante. Cand li se arata un obiect in plan frontal si in plan lateral (asa cum este in cazul de fata) si li se cere sa-l deseneze in perspectiva, de regula, arhitectii, inginerii si desenatorii care nu reusesc sa faca acest lucru sunt intr-o proportie mai mare decat cei care nu au o pregatire in acest domeniu. Gasirea solutiei corecte la aceasta problema ne poate invata, de asemenea, cum putem rezolva probleme in general. Ambele raspunsuri indicate sunt corecte. Putem sa aflam cum s-a ajuns la o anumita solutie: fie prin analiza creativa, fie prin perspicacitate.

Omul este un generalist. Extensiile sale (instrumentele de lucru si mediu in care traieste) pe care si le proiecteaza il ajuta sa se specializeze. Dar, prin proasta proiectare a instrumentelor de lucru si a mediului de trai, adesea obtinem un raspuns ciclic, astfel ca tot ceea ce a proiectat se intoarce impotriva lui, afectandu-l in asemenea masura incat il determina sa se transforme pentru totdeauna intr-un specialist. Dar impactul pe care il are orice dispozitiv, instrument, mediu proiectat poate fi studiat inainte ca acesta sa fie proiectat si fabricat. Datorita computerelor, acum este posibil sa fie generate matematic modele de procese, interactiuni si sisteme care sa fie studiate inainte de a fi puse in practica. “


Knock! Knock! Book! Book!

Within a book, within a place, within a flower.

Maye Musk – O femeie isi face un plan

“Nu am inteles niciodata de ce in America toata lumea vorbeste despre frumusetea fizica. In Africa de Sud esti mult mai apreciata ca femeie daca esti inteligenta si interesanta si ai un simt al umorului dezvoltat. Aspectul exterior conteaza mai putin. Oamenii spuneau despre mine ca sunt amuzanta. Si chiar am crezut ca eram. Si chiar cred ca sunt. Erau mult mai interesati de activitatea mea de nutritionist si erau incantati ca eram mereu la curent cu ultimele noutati din domeniu si ca tineam discursuri pe teme de larg interes. Ca lucram si in media. Ca aveam propriul meu cabinet. Erau mult mai interesati de etica mea de munca si de profesionalismul meu. Cand am ajuns in America, am sunat-o pe sora mea geamana, Kaye, sa ii spun despre aceasta ciudatenie americana cu privire la aspectul fizic. Kaie este unul dintre oamenii cei mai dragi mie. Vorbim in fiecare seara si este mereu sincera cu mine. Ea este persoana careia ii cer sfaturi in legatura cu orice, de la investitii pana la portelanul pentru dinti (ea a spus sa incetez cu chestia asta). Mereu a fost alaturi de mine si intotdeauna m-a sustinut. Cel mai bun lucru la Kaye este faptul ca este directa si nu suporta prostiile. Pur si simplu spune ceea ce gandeste. Asta nu inseamna ca este o persoana sobra. Kaye rade tot timpul, si, dintre noi doua, ea este cea amuzanta. Doar ca nu incearca sa amuze pe nimeni altcineva, doar pe ea insasi. Rezultatul este ca oamenii o iubesc enorm si se aduna in jurul ei atunci cand incepe sa vorbeasca. Daca ai intalni-o, si tu ai indragi-o pe loc. Din momentul in care cineva da cu ochii de Kaye, e clar ca eu as putea foarte bine sa ma retrag intr-un colt si sa ma apuc de tricotat. Din nefericire, nu o vei intalni niciodata, fiindca este o pustnica.

Kaye imi spunea: “Oamenii mereu au considerat ca esti frumoasa, chiar daca nu au spus-o niciodata. Cand intrai intr-o camera, toate privirile se indreptau spre tine.”

Eu nu am observat niciodata asta fiindca nu ma uitam la nimeni. Ma uitam doar in directia in care mergeam. M-a facut sa imi amintesc de barbatii cu care am iesit in oras de-a lungul anilor, barbati care-mi spuneau: “Maye, n-ai vrea sa treci in fata mea, cand intram in restaurant?”

Asa faceam, iar apoi veneau langa mine, pentru ca toata lumea sa vada ca eram impreuna. Evident ca, pana la urma, tot ma paraseau, fiindca asta fac oamenii pe care ii intereseaza doar infatisarea exterioara. Ar fi trebuit sa ii parasesc eu prima. Cand intalnesti o persoana frumoasa, e firesc sa vrei sa te bucuri de compania ei. Dar daca nu este si un om interesant, o vei parasi foarte repede. Este mai bine ca oamenii sa te placa pentru personalitatea ta decat pentru frumusetea fizica. Imi amintesc ca am intalnit odata un cuplu: el era extrem de chipes, ea o femeie obisnuita. Asa ca pareau o pereche cam bizara. Pana in momentul in care ea a inceput sa vorbeasca: te atragea ca un magnet. Prin atitudinea ei. Prin increderea pe care o emana. Prin felul in care privea viata. Mi-a devenit o buna prietena fiindca era atat de inteligenta si de amuzanta. Nu puteam sa ma mai satur de ea. O persoana poate fi in multe feluri, insa eu as prefera ca pe piatra mea funerara sa scrie: “A fost amuzanta” in loc de “A fost frumoasa”. Obsesia pentru frumusetea exterioara iti poate aduce multa nesiguranta, mai ales daca nu arati perfect. Ar putea sa te faca si mai nefericita si sa te impiedice sa iti folosesti multe alte atuuri de valoare, cum ar fi inteligenta sau avantajul de a fi amuzanta si interesanta. Sfatul meu este sa fii buna cu ceilalti, sa ii asculti si sa fii optimista. Sa nu incepi sa vorbesti despre viata ta nefericita. Arata incredere, respect, interes pentru cei din jur si zambeste; asta te va face sa pari fascinanta. Toata lumea are un talent pe care il poate impartasi cu ceilalti. Daca in acest moment simti ca nu ai niciun talent, intoarce-te la un moment din trecut cand te-ai simtit increzatoare in privinta unui aspect al vietii tale. Lucreaza la acest aspect, studiaza-l, impartaseste-l si devino mult mai interesanta. Daca ai o profesie, un hobby sau un interes special, citeste despre asta si mentioneaza ce stii in conversatii. Arata-te entuziasmata de lucrul respectiv si vei parea mult mai interesanta si mai inteligenta. Nu trebuie sa fii buna la toate, dar trebuie sa fii buna la ceva. Cand oamenii ma intreaba despre retete, nu pot sa ii ajut pentru ca nu sunt un bucatar bun. Nu ma simt prost din cauza acestui lucru; pur si simplu nu sunt talentata sau interesata de bucatarie. Si cu siguranta nu am de gand sa experimentez feluri noi de mancare pentru a-i impresiona pe ceilalti, din moment ce nu imi aduce nicio bucurie. Asigura-te ca esti buna la ceva care iti aduce bucurie. De asemenea, incearca sa iti cultivi simtul umorului si sa fii mult mai putin sensibila la ceea ce spun oamenii. Cand un barbat vrea sa iasa cu mine, iar eu refuz, imi va spune ca poate gasi oricand o alta mai tanara decat mine. Pur si simplu ma apuca rasul. Nu-mi pasa de ce ar putea gasi el; nu sunt interesata de el si cu siguranta nu voi fi suparata din cauza asta. Trebuie sa mergem mai departe si sa fim fericite cu noi insine. Daca poti sa glumesti, sa razi pe seama ta, si sa o faci cu usurinta, atunci vei fi mai amuzanta. Este greu sa nu vorbesti despre tine, mai ales daca treci printr-o perioada dificila, insa trebuie sa o faci in asa fel incat sa starnesti interesul oamenilor.”


Knock! Knock! Book! Book!

Within a book, within a place, within a flower.

Sonia Choquette – Raspunsul este simplu

“O inima lucida este o inima creativa. Cand ai inima lucida, poti face conexiuni subtile si poti sesiza relatiile ascunse dintre lucruri. Incepi sa intelegi ce se petrece in spatele mastilor pe care si le pun oamenii si poti face alegeri mai bune legate de felul in care doresti sa reactionezi fata de ei. Altfel spus, iesi din starea de haos si din confuzia care inconjoara orice autovictimizare. Dacai ai inima lucida, iti poti afirma puterea creatoare si capacitatea de a face alegeri constiente.

Limpezirea inimii nu este deloc complicata. Tot ce trebuie sa faci in acest scop este sa treci de la intrebarea: “De ce mi se intampla mie toate acestea?” la intrebarile “De ce se intampla toate aceste lucruri? Care este relatia dintre cauza si efect, dintre algerile facute de mine si rezultatele obtinute?”, sau si mai bine “Ce lectie trebuie sa invat din aceasta situatie?”

Analizeaza, nu reactiona pur si simplu. Detaseaza-te de drama existentiala si priveste obiectiv provocarile cu care te confrunta viata. Asta nu inseamna ca nu mai trebuie sa simti nimic. Sentimentele fac parte integranta din fiinta noastra si ne ofera informatii pretioase in legatura cu algerile pe care le facem. Spre exemplu, daca te simti deprimat, iti poti da seama ca ti-ai neglijat sanatatea si ti-ai ignorat propriile nevoi. Daca te simti furios, iti poti da seama ca nu ti-ai respectat propriile hotare si ca va trebuie sa iti reconsideri teritoriul privat in care ceilalti nu au dreptul sa calce. Daca te simti iritat sau nerabdator, iti poti da seama ca o anumita situatie este confuza sau ca nu este autentica. Beneficiile limpezirii inimii sunt foarte numeroase. Printre altele, stresul se reduce, vitalitatea se amplifica, iar energia se reechilibreaza. Cu cat te simti mai lucid in inima ta, cu atat mai plina devine viata ta. Inima este cea care iti da putere si iti stimuleaza creativitatea. Daca ea este confuza si percepe realitatea ca prin ceata, este greu sa gasesti solutiile potrivite pentru problemele tale. Nu faci decat sa te invartesti la infinit in acelasi cerc vicios al suferintei. Desi autovictimizarea este foarte atragatoare pentru ego, ea nu reprezinta altceva decat o pierdere de timp. Dintr-o inima confuza si incetosata nu poate iesi nimic bun. Pe de alta parte, nimic nu intuneca mai tare inima si nu submineaza mai puternic iubirea de sine ca frica. In clipa in care te temi de ceva, inima se intuneca si devine confuza. Experienta m-a invatat ca noi nu trebuie sa depasim frica pentru a ne limpezi inima. Tot ce trebuie sa facem este sa sesizam momentul in care ni s-a facut frica si sa recunoastem prezenta acestui sentiment in inima noastra. Pentru mine, a fost o revelatie sa imi dau seama ca nu atat frica este distructiva pentru iubirea noastra de sine, cat tentativa de a o ascunde sau de a o nega.

Frica este o emotie normala, mai ales daca ne aflam in fata necunoscutului. Imi amintesc, de pilda, de seara de dinaintea zilei in care trebuia sa tin primul meu seminar de o zi in Sydney, Australia. Intreaga zi m-am simtit tensionata si nelinistita. Desi am dormit in acea dupa-amiaza, m-am trezit complet neodihnita si usor iritata. Dintr-o data, mi-am dat seama de ce ma simt astfel: imi era teama. De indata ce am recunoscut acest lucru, am descoperit o sumedenie de motive care stateau la baza fricii mele. Imi era teama: ca nu voi reusi sa captivez atentia auditoriului, ca nu voi reusi sa imi transmit eficient mesajul, ca nu voi reusi sa ii ghidez pe oameni catre mai multa lumina.

Pe scurt, imi era teama de orice. Cu cat deveneam insa mai constienta de temerile mele, cu atat mai mult pareau sa slabeasca acestea si cu atat mai limpede redevenea inima mea. De indata ce s-a limpezit, inima mi-a spus: “Da, toate aceste lucruri se pot intampla. Nu este foarte probabil, dar nici imposibil. Dar chiar daca s-ar intampla, de ce consideri acest lucru o nenorocire? La urma urmelor, nu va fi sfarsitul lumii.” Era foarte adevarat. Ar fi fost cu siguranta o situatie neplacuta, care mi-ar fi creat o stare de disconfort, dar, in ultima instanta, chiar daca acest scenariu s-ar fi adeverit in varianta lui cea mai negativa, nu ar fi fost decat o palma pentru egoul meu. Acest gand m-a facut sa rad. Intr-adevar, multe din temerile noastre nu sunt altceva decat amenintari la adresa egoului nostru, care si asa se simte nesigur pe el. Daca am reusi sa ne aducem aminte in asemenea momente ca noi suntem una cu Spiritul Divin, nu cu egoul nostru, am scapa instantaneu de aceste spaime egotice. Cu cat devenim mai constienti de temerile noastre, cu iubire si cu o doza de umor, cu atat mai palide devin ele si cu atat mai mult se limpezeste inima noastra.”


Knock! Knock! Book! Book!

Within a book, within a place, within a flower.

Daniel Lapin – Business Secrets from the Bible

King Solomon says: “There is no utterly righteous man on Earth who achieves any good without sinning.” Solomon is not saying that there is no righteous men. There are plenty. He is saying that there are no righteous man who achieve anything without sinning. You must interact with the world to achieve things and doing so means inevitable sinning and inevitable missteps because we are fallible. The only way to avoid doing anything wrong ever is to do nothing. Do not build a family. Don’t start a business. Lock yourself away in a cave and don’t do anything. Then, I suppose, there is the likelihood that you will be able to die totally without sin, other than the sin of locking yourself in a cave, of course. (And doing nothing is a sin, make no mistake. I would argue it is the worst kind because it means you are not serving God’s other children.)

If you’re out there in the world living life passionately, committed to your life, passionately committed to your family and your community, passionately committed to your career and your business, you are going to make mistakes. It’s going to happen. And you know what? So what! You will make a mistake, suffer a setback, and then move on from there, wiser for the experience. There is no need to fear the path forward. Eliminate the fear that you have of making mistakes and simply travel forward and be the best working professional, the best husband or wife, the best father or mother, that you can be and it will all work out in the end. Make fear your friend. We cannot allow ourselves to be paralyzed by terror, yet remember that ordinary fear is quite normal. Don’t allow fear to terrify you and what is more important, know that you can find happiness in fear. It is evidence that you are not a vegetable. Were you not striving towards goals and if you had no dreams, you’d have little fear. The presence of fear can bring a small private smile to your face. You know what is going on and you know how to allow it to lift you to new heights.”


Knock! Knock! Book! Book!

Within a book, within a place, within a flower.

Atomic Habits – James Clear

“Cand cariera mea in baseball s-a incheiat, am incercat sa practic alt sport. M-am alaturat unei echipe de culturisti si, intr-o zi, un antrenor de elita ne-a vizitat in sala de fitness. Lucrase cu mii de sportivi in cariera lui, cativa dintre ei olimpici. M-am prezentat si am inceput sa discutam despre procesul de perfectionare.

“Prin ce se diferentiaza sportivii de succes de ceilalti?” l-am intrebat. “Care este diferenta dintre succes si esec?”

Mi-a enumerat factorii pe care deja ii intuiesti: mostenire genetica, norocul, talentul. Dar apoi a mai adaugat ceva, la care nu ma asteptam: “La un moment dat, cand ridici aceleasi greutati la nesfarsit, totul se reduce la modul in care gestionezi monotonia antrenamentului de zi cu zi”. Raspunsul lui m-a surprins, pentru ca era o perspectiva diferita asupra eticii profesionale. Oamenii vorbesc mereu de entuziasm cand se refera la atingerea obiectivelor.

Ca vine vorba de afaceri, sport sau arta, auzi lucruri de genul: “Totul tine de pasiune”. Sau “Trebuie sa-ti doresti cu adevarat”. Drept urmare, multi cad in depresie atunci cand isi pierd concentrarea sau motivatia, deoarece ne inchipuim ca oamenii de succes au rezerve nelimitate de pasiune. Dar acest antrenor sustine ca oamenii de succes resimt lipsa motivatiei la fel ca toti ceilalti. Diferenta consta in faptul ca ei reusesc sa o mobilizeze, in ciuda plictiselii. Performanta necesita efort. Dar pe masura ce repeti o actiune, ea devine tot mai plictisitoare si rutinata. Dupa ce am obtinut cateva rezultate si stim la ce sa ne asteptam, interesul nostru incepe sa se estompeze. Uneori dispare chiar mai repede. Tot ce trebuie sa faci este sa mergi la sala cateva zile la rand sau sa publici cateva articole pe blog; daca trece o zi fara activitate, nu se va simti prea mult. Lucrurile merg bine. Poti sa-ti permiti o zi de relaxare, pentru ca te afli pe o traiectorie buna.

Cea mai mare amenintare care planeaza asupra succesului este plictiseala, nu esecul. Ne plictisim de anumite obiceiuri pentru ca nu ne mai ofera placere. Rezultatele sunt previzibile. Iar cand obiceiurile nu mai au nimic iesit din comun, abandonam progresul in cautarea noutatii. Poate de aceea intram in cercul vicios al schimbarii unui tip de antrenament cu altul, sau al trecerii de la o dieta la alta, de la o idee de afaceri la alta. De indata ce sesizam cea mai subtila scadere a motivatiei, incepem sa cautam strategii noi, chiar daca cea veche era buna. Asa cum observa Machiavelli, “Oamenii sunt atrasi de noutate in asemenea masura, incat cei ce traiesc bine isi doresc schimbarea la fel de mult ca aceia care traiesc rau”. Poate de aceea multe dintre produsele pe care ne obisnuim sa le utilizam sunt cele care ne ofera permanent ceva nou. Jocurile video ofera imagini noi. Mancarea nesanatoasa ne ofera o noutate culinara. Toate aceste experiente ne ofera mereu elemente surpriza.

In psihologie, acest fenomen se numeste recompensa variabila. Jocurile mecanice sunt cele mai comune exemple din viata reala. Un jucator de noroc castiga din cand in cand, dar niciodata la un interval de timp previzibil. Ritmul de furnizare a recompensei variaza. Aceasta variabilitate determina cresterea maxima a nivelului dopaminei, stimuleaza memoria si accelereaza formarea obiceiului. Recompense variabile in sine nu declanseaza o dorinta- adica e inutil sa oferi la un interval de timp variabil o recompensa de care cineva nu este interesat, in speranta ca in cele din urma va ajunge sa si-o doreasca – insa ele amplifica puternic dorinte deja existente, deoarece reduc monotonia.

Punctul optim al dorintei se gaseste la jumatatea distantei dintre succes si esec. Jumatate din timp obtii ceea ce vrei, jumatate nu.

Ai nevoie de o doza suficienta de “reusita” pentru a simti satisfactia, insa trebuie sa fii si suficient de motivat pentru a simti dorinta. Acesta este unul dintre beneficiile Regulii Goldilocks. Daca ai deja motivatia de a-ti forma un obicei, angajarea in provocari cu dificultate rezonabila reprezinta o buna modalitate de a combate plictiseala. Desigur, nu toate obiceiurile au o componenta de variabilitate a recompensei, si nici nu ne dorim asta. Daca Google mi-ar livra o solutie utila doar uneori, mi-as schimba motorul de cautare foarte repede. Daca Uber ar raspunde comenzilor mele numai in proportie de 50%, ma indoiesc ca as continua sa apelez la acest serviciu. Iar daca m-as spala pe dinti in fiecare seara, dar as simti senzatia de curatenie numai uneori, cred ca nu as mai face-o. Cu recompense variabile sau nu, niciun obicei nu ni se va parea interesant la nesfarsit. La un moment dat, cu totii intampinam anumite dificultati pe drumul autoperfectionarii. Trebuie sa te indragostesti de plictiseala. Cu totii avem obiective pe care vrem sa le implinim, dar nici nu conteaza in ce domeniu vrei sa devii mai bun, daca faci eforturi numai cand iti vine la indemana sau cand esti entuziasmat, pentru ca nu vei fi suficient de consecvent incat sa obtii rezultate remarcabile. Iti garantez ca daca reusesti sa-ti formezi si sa mentii un obicei, vor exista si zile in care vei fi tentat sa renunti. Cand incepi o afacere, vor fi zile cand nu vei avea chef sa lucrezi; daca faci sport, vor fi zile cand nu vei dori sa completezi anumite seturi de exercitii; daca trebuie sa scrii ceva, nu iti va veni sa tastezi. Dar consecventa – ii diferentiaza pe profesionisti de amatori.”

Best regards,



Knock! Knock! Book! Book!

Within a book, within a place, within a flower.

Old World Italian – Mimi Thorisson

“The two guilty pleasures of Italian eating both start with the letter A. Sometimes there is no distinction between them, especially nowadays. Aperitivo is both the moment when you have your pre-dinner drink and the drink itself. It just means work is over, fun and food will be lad. And some of that food will be had now. All the usual suspects: olives, mini pizzas, deept-fried delicacies, some veggies thrown in for good measure. Basically, all the food that your personal trainer-if you’re unlucky, or disciplined, enough to have one – will tell you not to eat. Apperitivo in its purest form is a vertical affair, standing up, because you still can.

There is Antipasti, the other A: You’re in the restaurant or at home, and by now you are surely sitting down. Curious concocticons have given way to wine. That’s an absolute. This is the hour of really good hams, carefully prepared vegetables, quality crostini, cold salads, mixed seafood perhaps. You go for sparkling or you go straight to still. I have long thought that the most elegant thing anyone can have at this moment of the meal is the finest culatello and a very good glass of sparkling wine. Go for all the other stuff at your own peril and your own pleasure.”

“The inside is not striking, but it’s pleasant, classic, simple, which can be, and often is, more striking than…striking. Everything is unsurprising, and that’s a good thing. There are some signs that this establishment is more upscale than down-white tablecloths and napkins, a bit more shine. The waiters could be wearing white jackets and black bow ties. If they are you, you are probably in a city or a historical holiday place, somewhere the jet-setters used to go and maybe still do.”

“A really special restaurant is almost impossible to create quickly. It needs time. It needs, in cooking terms, to sit. The longer, the better. A concept is a clever idea that someone had.

A great restaurant has its own ideas, evolving organically over time, and Italy is full of places like that. When I visit friends in what they call “major cities,” they usually have lined up for us the best places, the most happening, the awesome. And next time we come, they have new awesomes. It’s about ticking things off a list: Go there once, then go someplace else. Never be caught dead in last week’s world. Now “there” is somewhere else. Not better but newer. A real restaurant needs regulars. No place that requires anyone to reserve three months in advance will ever have those. The staff won’t stay. They, too, will go on the next big thing. Like rats from a sinking ship, they know before anyone that it won’t last. Something more exciting is around the corner. Except it’s not.”

“Imagine you are somewhere in Italy. It’s around noon and you’re hungry. You are looking for a good place to eat and you know where to go. They know your name and your appetites and your favorite place to sit. They bring the aperitivo you like and one day you don’t even need to glance at the dessert cart. You know what’s on it. And you know what you’ll take. They know it, too. And if the place is crowded, there’s a chance that someone else might want it, too, so they’ll save you a slice. A place that saves you a slice, that’s the Italian restaurant.”

Best regards,